Socialization? To most, it’s “taking dogs on field trips to stores and exposing them to as many, different environments as possible.” The theory is that by familiarization and desensitization, they’ll become relaxed and submissive, and will be able to permanently handle those environments. Frankly, that’s backwards—the relaxation has to come first, not last. Don’t dismiss that, please.

I claim that that’s not socialization. True, the exposure is still necessary, but the exposure cannot happen until the dog’s energy level is low. Their background needs to be examined, assessed, and addressed if needed first to get their energy levels lowered. In most cases, none of that gets done. No wonder so much of the training for dogs never seems to work.

So, what then, is socialization? Socialization is when the dog goes through the following five steps:

1. they fall asleep,
2. they twitch (the proof that they’re sleeping,)
3. they wake up,
4. they make eye contact with you,
5. and they fall back to sleep.

That’s clearly in stark contrast to the traditional definition of socialization above. It’s time to look the monster in the face.

What’s Really Happening Inside the Dog with the 5-point Socialization

1. When a dog falls asleep, it has to check a checkbox that says “I trust you with my life.”
2. Twitching proves they’re sleeping. Once they’re sleeping, the only way that I’ve ever been able to prove that a dog is truly asleep is by watching their involuntary muscle twitches. We all twitch involuntarily when we’re sleeping.
3. The waking up can happen naturally or suddenly. Suddenly would be from some loud, environmental sound. You want the dog to be awakened only naturally and comfortably. Loud noises trigger the wrong thing.
4. Eye contact? Here’s the point: if the dog just entrusted its life with you but wakes up and you’re not there, it loses its trust in you—it cannot trust its life to you. Be present to make eye contact with your waking dog at least once. More is better.
5. Falling back to sleep. That same checkbox, checked in step (1) gets rechecked again, but with additional puzzle pieces filled in.

That’s socialization.

…and with that socialization, now it’s possible to take the dog to the stores to get them familiarized as part of their training.

Getting the dog to the stores before the 5-point socialization leaves too many obstacles in place, leaves the dog at a high energy level, and doing anything with the dog at a high energy level sets both the owner and the dog up for failure. Getting dogs into stores at high energy ranges will never work. We don’t talk about it but it’s true.

It’s time to talk about it.

Respectfully submitted.

Doug Parker
The DOuGTrainer
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